Don’t ask me why I named this note that. It just seemed really weird having a title with the word ‘virginity’ in it. What could I have named it?

  • Virginity Talk?
  • to pop or not to pop?
  • Can you do a split in the middle(thank you Naira Marley)?

Anyway, moving far away from that. I have never really felt a struggle to not have sex. It was pretty straight forward to me – not happening till the second week of marriage (you know, give the extra week to be sure I’m truly married. LOL).

This year though? My oh my. I mean, I just have to blame it on my hormones because I’m not sure if it’s because I’m meeting new people and suddenly have many more options or my sudden boost in boldness. I’m not exactly sure I understand what is going on.

Actually, I have a small idea.

I don’t believe in the things that kept me from sex anymore or I have found loopholes around them.

  • The fear of pregnancy – condoms and pills (I hate pills and would absolutely forget to take them so maybe this should be it tbh)
  • STDs? – condoms
  • borderline terror of God – I don’t view God as a monster or slave master anymore
  • soul ties – I am not sure I believe in it.
  • reputation? – I’ve never really been one to care about what people think but it’s worse now.
  • Getting attached to people re: soul ties
  • It’s a sin – girl, you be cussing and doing a whole lot of other things so why is this different?
  • Bonus point – I truly believe virginity is a social construct. Why should I suddenly be seen differently because a penis was in me? There is a 100% chance my hymen – if was ever going to ‘break’ did that in my multiple years of riding bicycles and horses. So yeah. Invalid!

I was speaking to one of my friend groups about it (the ones that have probably damned me to hell with the things I bring up). I explained how I didn’t have a ‘why’ for abstaining anymore.

Literally everyone – well almost everyone is having sex and still flourishing. In fact, doing better than I am, so kini izzue?

They brought up a couple of valid points against it but my brain obviously countered them. They advised that I needed to find my own reason to actually pursue ‘righteousness’.

I don’t know if I’ve found that reason yet but I did see something that made me laugh out loud recently on Zikokomag. Again, if you have not checked them out, why not? Anyway, that’s the link below. No need to thank me.

https://www.zikoko.com/life/10-unpopular-marriage-opinions-young-nigerians-are-not-sorry-about/

Number 9 – ‘…My married friends say sex slaps sweeter when you are not constantly thinking of burning in hell after. I want to experience that.’

L.O.L

Back to blaming biology and science in general, does this get worse with age?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments please.

P.S. I am not sponsored by Zikoko. I genuinely love their work.

5 thoughts on “Cherry Talk

  1. Just try not to have really good sex w/a guy you do not want to marry. It will imprint and bond you to him. Imprint with too many guys, and you will not be able to pair bond with husband (in the biological sense)

    Wait until you marry and pair bond with husband, then cheat on him and have all the sex you want.

    Human’s are more like ducks than they realize, when it comes tot mating.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL! I burst out laughing at your comment. I wasn’t expecting the ‘cheat on him’ part.
      Imprinting sounds almost like soul ties and getting attached. I haven’t read any posts that have a good research behind this school of thought.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. LMAOOO! Honestly, I know I can always count on your posts for a good timeeee; your potential titles took me out!!

    First off, I’m glad you don’t view God as a slave master anymore. That flawed perspective was drummed into me as a child and I was shocked when I actually learned that God is the opposite.

    Regarding sex, I hope you find the answers you need. Talk to people who have had all sides of the experiences, people who share your faith, maybe some who don’t too. It might help.

    And I’m sure those friends hold absolutely no judgement for you. Everybody has struggled or is struggling with this very thing too. We just don’t talk about it enough. Thanks for being brave enough to share this with us.

    Also, I swear I was actually thinking to myself that “this girl is for sure sponsored by Zikoko” before I read the last line of the post lol. And btw you were right to recommend, I liked the Zikoko post

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha! I’m glad you liked the titles.

    Absolutely, I’ve made it a habit to correct myself out loud when those thoughts of condemnation come. We are children – heirs, not slaves.

    Regarding sex, I’ll speak to more people. I’m currently reading on pair bonding as suggested by Duncan

    Thank you for reading, and for your encouragement x

    P.S. Zikoko sponsors me with euphoria. I think that’s good enough (for now – I’m open to $, Zikoko)

    Like

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