I had an epiphany a couple of days ago – it was on Monday. I went to check for record keeping purposes.

I think I have abandonment issues. I mean I know I do. It’s why I freaked out when Stargazer* (my friends nickname the men I talk to) didn’t respond to me for four days and why I learned to detach from people so easily. It’s also why I choose to not commit to people because I’m crippled with fear.

I’d always known there was something up with me but putting a name to it shook me. Like shit. I’m actually fucking broken.

My friend says it’s a good thing because now I can fix it. I don’t agree. I’ve felt so down and out of place since then. I just want to crawl in a hole and cry because why the hell am I so messed up? I don’t want to fight fucking battles all the damn time. I just want to be happy and moderately normal.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: