Posted in Boldesh, Verse

Strains from the inside.

The doctor gave me stronger puffers today
He says that there's still a strain in my chest
That strain is from missing you, my love
missing the sounds of your laughter.

Those random breathless moments are
from missing your heartwarming hugs 
the sporadic moments of pain -
a way of letting me know
it never fully healed

The doctor gave me steroids
he doesn't know that all my heart needs is you.
Posted in Not so fiction

F is for Family.

I travelled home last week for a celebration. It was an amazing family reunion and to be honest, I’ve only been back a day but I already feel out of place. I miss my family – my safe space. I have felt true happiness this past week; pure joy, security, calmness and peace.

Maybe I’ll go into more details about my trip when I’m settled in properly but that’s all for now. I just felt the need to share how I’m feeling at the moment.

Forever,
B.
Posted in Faith, Not so fiction

Top 15 Lessons in the First Three Months of 2019.

Here are the top things I learned in the first three months of the year.

  1. God is interested in every aspect of your life no matter how minute.
  2. Fear will cripple you. Tell the devil to keep his useless gift.
  3. There’s a very thin line between kindness and foolishness.
  4. Love is not only the expression acceptable to show; express your anger and disappointment too.
  5. Not everyone should be allowed see you bare and laid down. Guard your space.
  6. Your eyes disappear and your face is funny when you laugh; but do it anyway.
  7. It’s not your duty to fix people. God wouldn’t be mad if you walk away from situations that are toxic or damaging to your mental health.
  8. Keep dancing – especially on the streets. You’re making someone’s day.
  9. Stand tall; you have authority in Jesus.
  10. Stop forcing junk down your throat because you want to be ‘thick’.
  11. That little booty wiggle you do lifts your mood. Do it more often.
  12. Grief, brokenness and stress are never good enough reasons to mess up other people’s lives.
  13. Don’t have conversations with the devil. Shut him down immediately.
  14. Learn to compartmentalize your feelings. Don’t let your aggression spill over to the next person.
  15. Don’t ever feel the need to stoop low to accommodate people. Be unapologetically you.

Here’s to more learning and growing. Happy New Month!

Posted in Not so fiction, Verse

One with you.

I became one with you
the moment I proclaimed You Lord over me 

I became your heart
the minute you ran towards me 

Somewhere along,
I lost my way; ashamed to find your face

But your love found me
your peace, wrapped around me tightly  

Never in my broken girl's wildest dreams
did I see such a beautiful redemption happening to me.

I am one with you;
because I proclaimed You Lord over me
Posted in Faith, Verse

I stand.

I stand
in every word 
you have said over me

I stand
in everything
that you say I am

I stand 
in every truth
that your word brings

I stand 
in your perfect will.
Under your shadow;
behind the cross.

I stand.

Posted in Not so fiction, Verse

I found her.

I got a word from my heart.
She whispered,
'Maybe if you stop searching,
you'll find me.'

So I took a break from
certain faces that made me
feel uncomfortable
Certain spaces that made me
feel inadequate
Whatever it took, to find me.

And when I stopped searching -
I found her
waiting for her prodigal part
to return home.
Posted in Not so fiction, Verse

Up again.

I see you building those walls up again
The walls we struggled to pull down
in tears and sweat.

I know it's hard / I know you're hurting
I know you're tired / I know you're drained

But we've come too far / Too damn far to give up.
Stay strong, fighter / put down the bricks
Keep those walls / low and flat

I promise; You, my love
are stronger than you know.