Bold-ish

Built for love.

July 17th, 2019

Hello!

It’s been a while since I’ve talked to you. I’m not even going to sit here and lie – it was intentional. I was running away because I was embarrassed. I’m not the same person you met and I didn’t want you to see this part of me. However, I feel like I’m accountable to you as I have shared some parts of my journey with you, so I’m back to let you in.

The last time we spoke I told you my stance about showing love and being vulnerable. I said I had found a balance and everything was going to be finally perfect and yadiyadiya. Well, it turns out I tipped the scale. The girl who preached to be kind, loving, forgiving, honest and open is MIA.
(more…)

Final embrace.

July 10th, 2019

One last embrace
One last smell of your sweet smelling perfume
One last kiss on the softest of lips

Before your heart stops
As I hold your head
Rocking to the music we first danced to.

As I catch your last breathe,
And see your eyes open 
With that famous crooked smile  

One last time.

One last touch 
One last hope  
One last chance 

To say 'I love you'
Before your soul leaves  
And I'm left with only what held your essence

 And a shattered heart.

Better.

July 3rd, 2019

Do you remember the promises -
the ones we made as we lay 
counting the squares on my ceiling?

Do you remember the words you spoke -
the ones that were so gentle 
and soft it made my ears tingle?

Do you remember the tears -
the ones that we shed because our love
was too intense for us to handle

Do you remember the day -
the one where I left 
in hope of greener pastures

I remember those moments - 
the ones where I'm happy
and without worries

I like me better when I'm with you
When my heart is close to yours
and I can feel its rhythm with ease.

Daddy’s Princess

May 7th, 2019

I heard these words eight years ago in a movie –

“Whatever you do; wherever you go
always remember you’re daddy’s princess”

Whenever the devil tries to guilt me.
This line is always a reminder that I am,
and will always be God’s princess.

No matter how far I go;
Whenever I return,
I will always have my place
secure in my father’s house.

I am not a stranger.

Strains from the inside.

May 2nd, 2019

The doctor gave me stronger puffers today
He says that there's still a strain in my chest
That strain is from missing you, my love
missing the sounds of your laughter.

Those random breathless moments are
from missing your heartwarming hugs 
the sporadic moments of pain -
a way of letting me know
it never fully healed

The doctor gave me steroids
he doesn't know that all my heart needs is you.

F is for Family.

April 29th, 2019
I travelled home last week for a celebration. It was an amazing family reunion and to be honest, I’ve only been back a day but I already feel out of place. I miss my family – my safe space. I have felt true happiness this past week; pure joy, security, calmness and peace.

Maybe I’ll go into more details about my trip when I’m settled in properly but that’s all for now. I just felt the need to share how I’m feeling at the moment.
```
Forever,
B.
```
Top 15 Lessons in the First Three Months of 2019.

April 2nd, 2019
Here are the top things I learned in the first three months of the year.
1. God is interested in every aspect of your life no matter how minute.
2. Fear will cripple you. Tell the devil to keep his useless gift.
3. There’s a very thin line between kindness and foolishness.
4. Love is not only the expression acceptable to show; express your anger and disappointment too.
5. Not everyone should be allowed see you bare and laid down. Guard your space.
6. Your eyes disappear and your face is funny when you laugh; but do it anyway.
(more…)

One with you.

March 27th, 2019

I became one with you
the moment I proclaimed You Lord over me 

I became your heart
the minute you ran towards me 

Somewhere along,
I lost my way; ashamed to find your face

But your love found me
your peace, wrapped around me tightly  

Never in my broken girl's wildest dreams
did I see such a beautiful redemption happening to me.

I am one with you;
because I proclaimed You Lord over me

I stand.

March 26th, 2019

I stand
in every word 
you have said over me

I stand
in everything
that you say I am

I stand 
in every truth
that your word brings

I stand 
in your perfect will.
Under your shadow;
behind the cross.

I stand.

I found her.

March 25th, 2019

I got a word from my heart.
She whispered,
'Maybe if you stop searching,
you'll find me.'

So I took a break from
certain faces that made me
feel uncomfortable
Certain spaces that made me
feel inadequate
Whatever it took, to find me.

And when I stopped searching -
I found her
waiting for her prodigal part
to return home.