Lust.

Let’s talk about lust, shall we?

No one really talks about the sin of lust anymore. It’s so normal in this generation. In fact, if you google it, you’d see articles telling you how lust can boost your immune system or increase your life span.

As a young child, whenever I saw someone I found attractive, I would look away immediately and ask God to forgive me for lustful thoughts. I didn’t want any smoke (quite literally – hell, but also from God). Thinking about it makes me laugh. If I could go back, I’d tell younger me to calm down because God wasn’t going to strike her for thinking Tolani had nice eyes.

Continue reading “Lust.”

Top 15 Lessons in the First Three Months of 2019.

Here are the top things I learned in the first three months of the year.

  1. God is interested in every aspect of your life no matter how minute.
  2. Fear will cripple you. Tell the devil to keep his useless gift.
  3. There’s a very thin line between kindness and foolishness.
  4. Love is not only the expression acceptable to show; express your anger and disappointment too.
  5. Not everyone should be allowed see you bare and laid down. Guard your space.
  6. Your eyes disappear and your face is funny when you laugh; but do it anyway.
Continue reading “Top 15 Lessons in the First Three Months of 2019.”

One with you.

I became one with you
the moment I proclaimed You Lord over me 

I became your heart
the minute you ran towards me 

Somewhere along,
I lost my way; ashamed to find your face

But your love found me
your peace, wrapped around me tightly  

Never in my broken girl's wildest dreams
did I see such a beautiful redemption happening to me.

I am one with you;
because I proclaimed You Lord over me

Are you for God?

This morning, a question popped into my head.

‘Are you for God?’

I immediately replied, ‘Yes, of course. That’s a dumb question’

But then I’ve been thinking about it all day. Am I really for God or do I just do the surface level ‘good’ things in hopes to earn points from the ‘big guy up there’ so that he’ll be ‘nice’?

I’ll give an example. A few weeks ago, I prayed to God for the restoration of a friendship that was on rocky grounds. That night, the friend reached out to me and surprisingly, I wasn’t excited. It turns out I really didn’t want that friendship to be mended. I just wanted to be the ‘good’ person in God’s eyes. But we can’t mock God.

Oh, another example is my constant search of how close I get to doing the wrong things without actually doing them. How long can stay angry for? I waited until I was about to sleep before I replied that friend – because the bible says ‘don’t let the sun go down on your anger’. I was more worried about going to hell if I didn’t wake up the next day than keeping the peace.

How revealing is too much for my clothes? How vulgar is too vulgar? This one is a huge one – how far away is too far to love someone from? I can literally quote bible verses and tell you all Jesus did to validate my reason for cutting off relationships. Proverbs 4:23 is my absolute fave verse; ‘Above all else, guard your heart’. And my favourite sentence to pull out? – ‘Jesus wasn’t friends with the Pharisees. He loved them from afar‘.

While these verses/interpretations are valid, I made them the bedrock of my lifestyle. I ascribed this attitude toward wisdom but have recently realized that they were excuses. What happened to the numerous verses about loving like Jesus loved us? If Jesus was loving me from as far away as I was loving people I would be wretched. And what about the verse about forgiving others seventy times seven times a day?

Continue reading “Are you for God?”

Back rubs

The back pains started again yesterday.

It was a sad day.

If this happened last year, I’d have comforted myself in the fact that my mother would be back soon to give me her healing back rubs.

“Just a few more months. Be patient”

There was nothing to comfort myself in yesterday. Knowing that I’d never feel her tender, yet firm hands kneading my back and sharing in my pain with her words.

But I’m comforted in the fact that there’s a God who loves me more than my mum could have ever been capable of. So he’ll give me those back rubs when I need them. He’d not only share my pain, but he’d also take them away completely.

I have to learn to trust in his love and realize that he’s enough for me.