Cherry Talk

Don’t ask me why I named this note that. It just seemed really weird having a title with the word ‘virginity’ in it. What could I have named it?

  • Virginity Talk?
  • to pop or not to pop?
  • Can you do a split in the middle(thank you Naira Marley)?

Anyway, moving far away from that. I have never really felt a struggle to not have sex. It was pretty straight forward to me – not happening till the second week of marriage (you know, give the extra week to be sure I’m truly married. LOL).

This year though? My oh my. I mean, I just have to blame it on my hormones because I’m not sure if it’s because I’m meeting new people and suddenly have many more options or my sudden boost in boldness. I’m not exactly sure I understand what is going on.

Actually, I have a small idea.

I don’t believe in the things that kept me from sex anymore or I have found loopholes around them.

  • The fear of pregnancy – condoms and pills (I hate pills and would absolutely forget to take them so maybe this should be it tbh)
  • STDs? – condoms
  • borderline terror of God – I don’t view God as a monster or slave master anymore
  • soul ties – I am not sure I believe in it.
  • reputation? – I’ve never really been one to care about what people think but it’s worse now.
  • Getting attached to people re: soul ties
  • It’s a sin – girl, you be cussing and doing a whole lot of other things so why is this different?
  • Bonus point – I truly believe virginity is a social construct. Why should I suddenly be seen differently because a penis was in me? There is a 100% chance my hymen – if was ever going to ‘break’ did that in my multiple years of riding bicycles and horses. So yeah. Invalid!

I was speaking to one of my friend groups about it (the ones that have probably damned me to hell with the things I bring up). I explained how I didn’t have a ‘why’ for abstaining anymore.

Literally everyone – well almost everyone is having sex and still flourishing. In fact, doing better than I am, so kini izzue?

They brought up a couple of valid points against it but my brain obviously countered them. They advised that I needed to find my own reason to actually pursue ‘righteousness’.

I don’t know if I’ve found that reason yet but I did see something that made me laugh out loud recently on Zikokomag. Again, if you have not checked them out, why not? Anyway, that’s the link below. No need to thank me.

https://www.zikoko.com/life/10-unpopular-marriage-opinions-young-nigerians-are-not-sorry-about/

Number 9 – ‘…My married friends say sex slaps sweeter when you are not constantly thinking of burning in hell after. I want to experience that.’

L.O.L

Back to blaming biology and science in general, does this get worse with age?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments please.

P.S. I am not sponsored by Zikoko. I genuinely love their work.